DO I NEVER POST ANYMORE 😦

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Riche. I never hated you. I never hated any of you, and I still don’t. I was never one to say rude things about you, and I was always telling Cody to stop, and George too. I know you probably won’t believe me, because when I tried to tell you that the first time, you didn’t believe it. And to be honest, I was really starting to open up to you, too. I really did think I had a great friend who was there for me, and I thought we would be as close as we were last cheer season.

Something I still don’t understand is why you expected me to talk to you. Or any of you for that matter. After I had talked with Sparkle, I see you tweeting your goodbyes. How the fuck else would I take that other than us not being friends? I’ve seen how you guys can be to people, so sorry if I did not want to humiliate myself by trying to talk to you. I never told Waverly to fight you, and I never told Cody and George to say those awful things. I was always telling them to stop, because I fucking KNEW you would point the finger at me, when I never had anything to do with it.

On another point, blogs are on the Internet. The Internet is fucking public. I released my blog to one person, who found yours through mine. Funny how that works, huh? The Internet being public.

It’s sad that you expected me to blog bad about you, or have hatred towards you. But I don’t. I never did, and I’m not about to start. I had an amazing friendship with all of you, and it breaks my heart that I lost it. I cried everyday for the first week we stopped being friends. I would constantly tell my mom I was done with Empire, because the people that were there for me, and made me laugh and feel accepted at that school were gone.

I know we can’t possibly be the same, ever again. But I am sorry for all that has happened. Even though I never wanted it, I will take the blame for the rude insults thrown at you, and the girls trying to fight. I am so sorry for all of that. But what I am most sorry for is that this is how our friendship ended.

I still believe that I never did anything to deserve you just giving up on me. You said I never tried to talk to you, and that made me laugh. It’s funny, because not ONCE did you try talking to me about anything, you just stopped talking to me completely. But that’s in the past, and I understand why we can’t be friends now.

I just hope that when you hear my name, you don’t think of the bad things. I hope you think of all the great times we had, and the friendship we shared. I wish you the best next year, and beyond. You aren’t ugly or fat or a whore. You’re a beautiful girl, and it’s about time you take that for what it’s worth. Again, I’m sorry how things went down. When people mention your name, I’ll think of the girl I used to have as one of my bestfriends. I hope you do the same.

It’s funny.

How boys can find and show everyone stuff, and people think it was me. How boys can start rumors, and everyone thinks it was me. How boys can try to get fights started, and people blame me. I just have one thing to say.

Get your facts before you decide to talk about me or something I supposedly did or said.

I am alone. I’m not sure when I stopped existing, but I did.

I am all alone now. I have no best friends, and really no close girl friends. My family is sick, my great grandmother is dying, and my dad is trying to be part of my life. I can’t take all of this happening at once. Especially with no best friends to get me through it. I haven’t really laughed hard in awhile. God I miss it.

Dear Non-Existent Boy,

I wish you existed. I have no “lover”.

“DAYUM. Yo’ hair FUCKED UP!”

Dear Stranger at the Fair,
Why did you ask me that? My hair looked fine. It did make me laugh though.
Love, Erica

Dear Dreams,

I really have a lot of you. I guess you could call me a dreamer.
My major dream is to become an engineer. I like science, and I am absolutely in love with math. Math is one of my favorite things ever. I plan on going to Colorado School of Mines, to get my Masters Degree in Petroleum Engineering. My backup plan is to go to Northern Arizona University, or Arizona State. Hopefully, I become exactly what I want to be. My unrealistic career dream is to be a rapper, or a singer, or a model. Obvi those will never happen though. One of my other dreams is to be a wife. Obviously I want to be independent, and be an engineer, but I also want to be a wife and a mother. I cannot wait to have a husband to take care of, and children to raise. Of course I won’t just be a little bitch wife, but I will cook and clean, and not be difficult. But I do expect my husband to buy me gifts, and make time for me and the kids, and be there always. I will not let myself go after marriage, but I will relax and settle down. I just cannot wait to grow up and have this life I dream of.
Love, Erica